First off, let’s just give a huge round of applause and cheer for Cara Lisette! The person that gave a massive middle finger to the latest bullshit and potentially, highly damaging comments made by none other than President Trump, in the media this week!
This blog is going to be a bit (probably a lot) ranty but I swear there will be a lot of positivity in it too. For a start, it’s Friday and at 830am, I have already had a canny little morning! Picture the scene, I am sat here at my desk at home, flowers from last week still going strong, emails caught up with, a GIANT mug of coffee because without coffee, adulting is just hard! Music is on in the background and at regular intervals I can hear the crazy laughter of my son, watching god knows what on his tablet, which ensures there is a big smile on my face!
So, lets jump right in to my main reason for this blog and the rant that has been boiling up in me since I first saw the news, and then subsequently all the social media feeds. I write my blog because mainly, it helps me get some of the demons out of my head and into reality, where their power diminishes and I can flick them away like an annoying ant. Yet, there is another reason, that is becoming equally important. I want to help get rid of the, quite frankly, SHIT opinions and stigma that goes with mental health illnesses. We are in 2019 for fucks sake, and yet there are some people still spouting utter crap about subjects they know fuck all about! Or maybe they do, and this is their way of trying to pretend that they are too good for this shit, that they are invincible, that mental health issues are not something that could EVER effect them.
Will people PLEASE start to realise that these conditions are illnesses! We who suffer with them have no choice in how we suffer, or with what conditions we get labelled with. Same as we don’t choose to actively go out and get a life threatening disease or break a bone! We don’t sit there thinking, “life has been a bit mundane at the moment, let’s go through a bout of severe Depression and plan how to end our life!”, or “oooo there is a party I really want to go to, all my friends will be there. But, wait! Feeling sick, having a bad headache and getting a panic attack at leaving the house, so bad that I think I am dying, sounds equally as fun!”, or even “I really love the taste of vomit and feeling of the shame spiral into darkness, so I’m going to knack a tub of ice cream, a parmo and whatever else I can get my hands on, and spend an hour in the bathroom, under the cover of complete secrecy, until I get rid of all this from my body. You know, for shits and giggles”.
Will people get a grip! The media needs to seriously sit up and take note of what campaigning is going on from mental health advocates and sufferers, not ignorant high profile figures, who would not have a fucking clue if it jumped up and twatted them on the nose. Listen to the REAL LIFE stories of people who suffer with these horrible illnesses. Listen to how people really FEEL. How isolating it can be, especially when ill mental health is, YET AGAIN, getting blamed for the absolutely horrific violence that is being carried out across the world! Pop over to the Time To Change website and check out FACTS! The majority of crime and violence is carried out by people WITHOUT a mental health condition.
- In 2009, the total population in England and Wales was just over 43 million. It is estimated that about one in six of the adult population will have a significant mental health problem at any one time (more than 7 million people). Given this number and the 50–70 cases of homicide a year involving people known to have a mental health problem at the time of the murder, clearly the statistics data do not support the sensationalised media coverage about the danger that people with mental health problems present to the community. – Time To Change
90% of people who die through suicide are suffering from serious mental distress. I’m going to say this just once, so please listen – PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESSES ARE PROVEN TO BE MORE DANGEROUS TO THEMSELVES THAN ANYONE ELSE!
I can say this, because I know first hand that it is true! Any regular readers of this blog will know at least parts of my story. I was and never ever have been, a risk to ANYONE around me. Despite my alter ego “Patricia” being absolutely horrendous (I realise now, she is my protector, but that lady is scary!) I have never thought about hurting another person. Violence has never been on my agenda! The only person I have ever wanted to hurt was, *gasp* MYSELF!
Whether that be through planned and executed suicide attempts, off the cuff attempts like when I cut myself and ended up being taken to hospital in a police car, or when I would regularly make myself sick, several times a day. Yes, binging and purging was not only a way of trying to lose weight for me (which ironically never actually happened) but it was a way to control and punish myself. Being sick so much that I would get dizzy at times and think I was going to pass out. Binging that much that choking on my own vomit in the desperation to get the crap out my body was a strong possibility, and hand on heart I have had more than one scary moment where I thought, fuck I have gone too far this time! This is all violence, but every bit, every thought, every action was aimed at myself. I deserved the pain and torture. Those around me that I love so dearly didn’t, and still don’t, deserve any of this. The best way in my head to make it all better for them was to take me out of it, to either die or to disappear so far into my massive black hole that they would all think I had gone for good and therefore walk away and leave me there. Save themselves so to speak.
But you know what, yes my mental health is very severe at times and causes a lot of despair and pain BUT, it has also created a life that I could have only ever dreamed about. We who suffer from these vile illnesses are not victims. We are survivors. We don’t choose these things, but what we can do, is use them to our advantage. To take their power and use it for good NOT evil. From my experiences I have some amazing opportunities in my future.
I run my own charitable organisation, dedicated to using exercise and a healthier lifestyle in order to support those who suffer with their mental health and would like to learn new ways to help themselves, around professional services. I am soon to start my own radio show to promote this organisation, as well as other organisations. To help share as many REAL LIFE stories of mental health and how it affects a persons life. To encourage people and to help them realise their true worth. I am also soon to be trained as a Peer Support Facilitator Trainer through a side project from national Mind – Get Up Set Up. I will be travelling around the country, helping peer support groups set up in their local areas. I am also a full time university student. As well as being a mam, daughter, friend, boss…….
This, all of this, is because of where my circumstances have brought me. This is all because I got so very poorly, I tried to end my own life, and I NEVER want ANYONE to feel like that. No one deserves to feel like that. Everyone is on this planet for a reason. Everyone has self worth, whether they can see it themselves or not. I can. I can see it. And I will spend the rest of whatever life I have left, helping those that trust me to, to see it in themselves too.
As well as me, there are thousands of amazing mental health warriors out there, sharing their own story. Helping others just by being them. To name but a few, Stephanie Addison, Matthew Williams, Alessandra Botham, Coach Clair, Aiden Hatfield, Cara Lisette…….. I could go on. That doesn’t even hit on the famous people, A – Z, that also use their platforms to spread the word too.
There are also so many people that suffer but who aren’t ready yet to share so publicly, but do what they can to help too – volunteering, blog, share posts on community pages, regularly check in on their friends and family. But these people are just as amazing as us who are their mouth pieces.
So yeah, Donald Trump, Piers Morgan and anyone else who has such vastly INACCURATE views on mental health – either get clued up, listen to those that actually know what we are talking about, or shut the FUCK up, for the love of whoever is above! You really do not know how much damage you could be causing!
Phew, glad I got that off my chest. As always with posts like these, this blog is MY BLOG. I encourage people to feedback and to share their thoughts too. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. But these are MY thoughts and feelings.